Tonight On The Mike Malloy Show

In The Beginning . . .

It’s happening. Right before our eyes. Oh, no.

Obama – President-elect Barack Obama – is morphing into . . . um . . . I dunno. Can’t quite get my bearings. I swear to g-d I thought I was voting for a Progressive Democrat (I relinquished the hope for a Liberal when Kucinich was forced out of the running), someone who would mercilessly kick the right wing theocrats and faux Nazis to the curb; banish the bastards who have spent years dividing the country against itself, sowing the seeds of mistrust, hatred, suspicion.

I did. I actually thought that, believed it, counted on it. And for no apparent reason. Obama was clear in his voting history that he was a “moderate.” (I hate that word. Smells like coward or appeaser or . . . Clinton.) His publicity department has always presented him as someone who would “bring us together.” (Wasn’t that Reagan’s line?) Someone who would “heal the nation.” And, g-d knows we need healing, right? Actually we need a lot more than “healing.” We need major surgery; amputations; cosmic intervention. In fact, The Bush Crime Family may have mortally wounded us, killed us; we may be lurching around, bleeding profusely, about to go into shock. On death’s doorstep. Healing? It’s going to take a hell of a lot more than “healing,” no offense to the New Agers who see “healing” as a substitute for actually curing.

But, now we find that Obama has selected to give the Inaugural invocation a homophobic, anti-female, Rapture-Ready, mega-church pastor who believes that six thousand years ago, after GOD had created just about everything, a talking snake seduced Eve’s mind and the result of that seduction had a profound influence on the course of human history and released evil into the world.

Not again. Not another “reverend” who would demean women, set the stage for the continuing murder of gay folk, maintain the hideous fiction that his god is the best and if you don’t accept that your ass will burn in hell forever and ever, amen, no matter what good you may have done while you were alive. Please, Barack, not again. Broom this guy. Get him away from your inauguration. The whole ceremony will be unique in the political and social and racial history of this nation. Why corrupt it with Rick Warren? Why state categorically that you will continue the obscenities that are eating away at the core of this society by elevating Rick Warren to the status of Official Priest, Designated Bone-Shaker, Honored Messenger, Invocator Of Spooks and Demons, Witch Doctor at an occasion that should be grounded in humanism, secularism, reality.

Well, okay. It’s all theater anyway, right? Illusion. Shadow boxes and hallucinations. So, bring on the Official Negro Singer – Aretha Franklin; the Official Handicapped Jewish Violinist – Itzhak Perlman; the Official Asian Cellist – Yo-Yo Ma; and the Official And Current Messenger From The Hairy Thunderer – Rick Warren.

But, gee, Barack, aren’t there any Honored Messengers who don’t promote bigotry, ignorance, blind obedience, contempt for women, and so on and so on, whom you might have picked to offer a ritualistic prayer at your party?

If you change your mind on Rick Warren, I don’t have anything scheduled for January 20 except sitting in front of the television and watching yet another circus presentation. Which is to say if you need me I’m available.



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