Tonight On The Mike Malloy Show

What’s in a Name?

More proof that the Republicans are simply insane . . . ABC News reports that she-wolf Senator Elizabeth “Liddy” Dole (R/Big Tobacco) actually proposed that the name of a bill designated for HIV/AIDS funding legislation be changed to honor (!) her former North Carolinian mentor and recently-relegated-to-the- scrubbing-pits-of-purgatory, Jesse Helms (R/Hades). No, it’s not a joke or an article from The Onion (I checked). Quoting the Congressional Record from Monday, July 14th, ABC News says: “Mrs. Dole submitted an amendment to the bill (S. 2731), to authorize appropriations for fiscal years 2009 through 2013 that would provide assistance to foreign countries to combat HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis, malaria, and for other purposes as follows: On page 1, line 5, strike ‘Henry J. Hyde’ and insert ‘Henry J. Hyde and Jesse Helms’.”

Many of you recall that Jesse was not a big fan of HIV/AIDS funding. To call Ol’ Jesse an ardent homophobe would be a gross understatement as he devoted such a vast amount of sweat equity in the pursuit of promoting as much anti-gay legislation as humanly possible. Jesus would be proud, Jesse, of all your hatin’ in His name and painful deaths you caused by blocking potentially life-saving AIDS research.

The Friday edition of The Washington Blade memorialized the now-dead Senator with these gentle reminders of Jesse’s driven devotion to the cause: “Helms made his first mark on the nation’s HIV and AIDS policies in July 1987, when he pushed the U.S. Public Health Service to add HIV to its list of diseases that barred a person’s entrance to the United States [which was] later codified in immigration law. Helms next attempted to amend the Centers for Disease Control budget in October 1987 to bar prevention and education materials that “promote or encourage, directly or indirectly,” gay sexual activities. Under public pressure, lawmakers struck the word “indirectly” in conference committee, allowing gay organizations and community centers to receive federal funds to care for people living with AIDS.”

Not content to stop there he sought, in 1991, legislation that would fine and imprison health care providers who knew they were HIV positive and continued to perform medical procedures without notifying their patients. In 1995, during reauthorization of the Ryan White CARE Act, Helms sought to cut off funding to local gay community centers that provide care to people with HIV and AIDS.

ABC News quoted some of the compassionate conservative’s colorful musings on HIV/AIDS over his career: “Gays were ‘weak, morally sick wretches,’ he said, and in 1988, opposing an AIDS research bill championed by, among others, Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, Helms said, ‘there is not one single case of AIDS in this country that cannot be traced in origin to sodomy.'” Really? Not even little Ryan White?

ABC News continues: “In 1995, Helms told the New York Times that the government should spend less on trying to combat AIDS because those suffering from the disease got sick as a result of ‘deliberate, disgusting, revolting conduct…We’ve got to have some common sense about a disease transmitted by people deliberately engaging in unnatural acts.'”

“Deliberately engaging in unnatural acts.” Hmmmm, kinda like the many diseases resulting from the unnatural and deliberate inhalation of the deadly smoke of good ol’ North Carolina tobaccky? What’s that smell? Mentholated Republican hypocrisy?

The good news is that Luddite Liddy’s deliberate, disgusting, revolting attempt to reanimate Jesse’s cold dead hand from beyond the grave to implement a final, punishing clammy slap to the face of gay America was thwarted in the Senate today. The bad news is that it actually garnered legitimate attention from Jesse-worshipping Senate neo-cons salivating at the opportunity to pay homage to their gay-hating hero.

Perhaps Liddy has developed a dark, twisted sense of humor in her dotage. Or maybe she’s suffering a bad case of ball-point-pen poisoning from her forced submission to decades of fevered scribbles on her broad, bare-naked back. Either way, she should be ashamed of herself. No wonder Bob looked with such clotted lust at Brittney.

–KBM

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